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Let's Understand Our Strong Willed Child

Updated: Feb 4

Who is a Strong-Willed Child??

- Strong-willed child:

- Likes doing things independently and knows their preferences.

- Confident and vocal about their opinions.

- Persistent and resilient, rarely gives up easily.

- Energetic and highly curious about the world.

- Positive outcomes:

- These traits can foster strength and intelligence in adulthood.

- Challenges for parents:

- Guiding strong-willed children may require extra patience and understanding.

- Examples of Famous Personalities who are Strong- willed

1. Oprah Winfrey: Overcame tough times to become a successful media personality and philanthropist.

2. Steve Jobs: Co-founded Apple, known for his determination and innovative spirit.

3. Malala Yousafzai: Advocated for girls' education despite facing a targeted attack, showing strong will.

4. J.K. Rowling: Persisted through rejections to create the beloved Harry Potter series.

5. Elon Musk: Ambitious entrepreneur, known for his determination and resilience.

6. Rosa Parks: Sparked the civil rights movement by refusing to give up her bus seat.

7. Winston Churchill: Showed strong leadership during World War II.

8. Serena Williams: Tennis legend, admired for her determination and dedication.

9. Thomas Edison: Inventor of the light bulb, demonstrated persistence and innovation.

10. Aung San Suu Kyi: Nobel laureate, endured house arrest while advocating for democracy in Myanmar.

These individuals exemplify strong-willed qualities, facing challenges with determination and making a lasting impact.

What is the difference between a normal child and a strong-willed child


Normal Child

Strong-Willed Child


- Age-appropriate independence

- Strong desire for autonomy, resists authority

- Seeks guidance and approval from adults

- Prefers making independent choices


- Adapts to changes, follows routines

- Resistant to changes, prefers consistency

- May need time to adjust

- May resist redirection


- Expresses opinions

- Demonstrates strong assertiveness

- May not be forceful in asserting desires

- Clearly expresses wants, even if against others' preferences

Response to Authority

- Generally accepts and follows rules

- May challenge rules, seeks reasons, tests boundaries


- Shows persistence

- Displays determined and persistent nature

- May be easily redirected or deterred

- Not easily giving up on tasks or goals

How to deal with a strong-willed child?

Dealing with a strong-willed child will be difficult but certainly not impossible. Consistency, patience, and a supportive attitude are key to navigating the adventure of raising a strong-willed child. Anything to form a habit takes 21 days so follow these steps for 21 days for best results.

1. Give Choices, Set Limits:

- Let your child make decisions within your guidelines, giving them a feeling of control while respecting boundaries.

2. Clear Rules, Consistent Follow-through:

- Establish understandable rules and stick to them consistently, creating a stable and predictable environment.

3. Encourage Independence:

- Support your child in taking on responsibilities and making decisions appropriate for their age, promoting independence.

4. Explain Reasons:

- Share simple explanations for rules and decisions, satisfying their curiosity and helping them understand the "why."

5. Stay Cool, Stay Calm:

- Keep your composure in challenging moments, avoiding power struggles by responding calmly and patiently.

6. Choose Your Battles:

- Identify when to stand firm and when to be flexible, minimizing unnecessary confrontations.

7. Positive Reinforcement:

- Praise and reward positive behavior, reinforcing expectations and encouraging continued good behavior.

8. Redirect and Distract:

- Shift their focus when needed to avoid power struggles, using distraction as a useful tactic.

9. Show Empathy:

- Acknowledge their feelings even if you disagree, helping them feel understood and valued.

10. Teach Problem-Solving:

- Involve them in finding solutions, nurturing their problem-solving skills and empowering them in managing their behavior.

11. Routine and Predictability:

- Create a consistent routine, providing structure that reduces anxiety and smoothens transitions.

12. Seek Guidance When Needed:

- If challenges persist, consider professional advice from a pediatrician, child psychologist, or parenting coach for additional support.

Certainly! Here are a few additional tips for dealing with a strong-willed child:

13. Celebrate Small Wins:

- Acknowledge and celebrate their achievements, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement encourages continued positive behavior.

14. Model Calm Behavior:

- Demonstrate the behavior you want to see. Stay calm, composed, and assertive to set a positive example.

15. Provide Warning for Transitions:

- Alert your child before transitions, giving them time to mentally prepare for changes, which can reduce resistance.

16. Create a Safe Space:

- Establish a designated area where your child can go to calm down and collect themselves when needed.

17. Use Humor:

- Injecting humor into tense situations can lighten the mood and diffuse potential conflicts.

18. Teach Emotional Expression:

- Encourage your child to express their emotions verbally, helping them develop healthy communication skills.

19. Involve Them in Decision-Making:

- Include your child in age-appropriate decision-making processes, fostering a sense of responsibility and control.

20. Establish Consequences:

- Clearly communicate consequences for certain behaviors, ensuring they understand the outcomes of their actions.

21. Encourage Healthy Outlets:

- Support the development of positive outlets for their energy, such as sports, arts, or other constructive activities.

22. Build a Support System:

- Connect with other parents, teachers, or caregivers who understand the challenges of raising strong-willed children for advice and shared experiences.

23. Prioritize Self-Care:

- Take care of your own well-being to maintain the energy and patience needed for effective parenting.

Remember, the goal is to guide and nurture your child's unique qualities while helping them develop the skills to navigate the world positively. Adapt these tips based on your child's personality and the specific dynamics of your family.

How would you determine if your child is strong-willed?

Let's begin:

  • Independence:

  • Assertiveness:

  • Resistance to Authority:

  • Persistence:

  • Decision-Making:

  • Independence in Play:

  • Resistance to Change:

  • Expressive Emotions:

  • Curiosity:

  • Leadership Qualities:

Remember, these traits are part of a child's unique personality, and not every assertive child is necessarily strong-willed. If unsure or concerned, consult with professionals for guidance tailored to your child's needs.

Activities to do with a strong-willed child?

1. Choice-based Fun:

- Let your child pick from a list of activities, giving them a feeling of control while staying within boundaries.

2. Creative Adventures:

- Explore arts and crafts, allowing them to choose colors and themes for their projects.

3. Outdoor Playtime:

- Head outdoors for park play, bike rides, or nature walks to burn off extra energy.

4. Independent Creations:

- Support their projects or hobbies, whether it's LEGO building, drawing, or exploring a unique idea.

5. Brain-Boosting Games:

- Enjoy puzzles, board games, or strategic video games that challenge their problem-solving skills.

6. Active Sports:

- Enroll them in sports or activities like soccer or gymnastics to build discipline and teamwork.

7. Kitchen Teamwork:

- Cook or bake together, letting them measure, stir, or decorate for a hands-on experience.

8. Science Fun:

- Try safe science experiments at home to spark their curiosity and love for learning.

9. Imaginative Play:

- Engage in role-playing or imaginative storytelling, encouraging creativity.

10. Build and Create:

- Provide building blocks or construction sets for them to create their own designs.

11. Nature Discoveries:

- Explore nature together, whether in a garden, on a hike, or just in the backyard.

12. Musical Moments:

- Foster a love for music through playing instruments, dancing, or joining music classes.

Flexibility is key, to tailoring activities to their interests. Reinforce positive behavior, making the experience enjoyable for both you and your strong-willed child.

Are there any specific books to be read with them??

Some Awesome book with super awesome authors:

1. "The Dot" by Peter H. Reynolds:

- Promotes creativity and self-expression, teaching kids that their unique ideas matter.

2. "Rosie Revere, Engineer" by Andrea Beaty:

- Encourages perseverance and a positive attitude towards challenges, emphasizing the importance of pursuing passions.

3. "Chrysanthemum" by Kevin Henkes:

- Explores self-acceptance and embracing uniqueness, resonating with strong-willed children's strong sense of self.

4. "The Little Engine That Could" by Watty Piper:

- A classic tale teaching determination and optimism, emphasizing the power of a positive mindset and persistence.

5. "What Do You Do With a Problem?" by Kobi Yamada:

- Encourages viewing challenges as opportunities for growth and problem-solving, promoting resilience.

6. "The Three Questions" by Jon J. Muth:

- Based on a story by Leo Tolstoy, explores mindfulness, compassion, and the importance of living in the present moment.

7. "Giraffes Can't Dance" by Giles Andreae:

- Celebrates individuality and teaches the importance of embracing unique qualities, promoting self-discovery.

8. "Stand Tall, Molly Lou Melon" by Patty Lovell:

- Molly Lou Melon embraces her individuality, teaching self-confidence and resilience.

9. "Beautiful Oops!" by Barney Saltzberg:

- An interactive book encouraging kids to see mistakes as opportunities for creativity and problem-solving.

10. "Ish" by Peter H. Reynolds:

- Encourages embracing the creative process and not being overly concerned with perfection.

These books offer positive messages and themes that resonate with strong-willed children, providing opportunities for meaningful discussions and reinforcing important values..

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